I’m in over my head . . . and they’re going to find out. That was probably one of the first thoughts that ran through my head when I got my acceptance call to vet school. It’s continued to play on repeat for these past few months, so I decided to talk to the doctors at work about my hesitation.
One doctor made me explore my feelings of anxiety, perfectionism, self-doubt, and the fear of failure. He made me examine the reasoning I had for such feelings about myself in vet school; especially when I practice as a vet tech almost every day. I’m working with patients every day, monitoring anesthesia and giving drugs that, if I’m not careful, could end badly. Every day I deal with a healthy dose of fear with what I do, but this is just an evolved version of this fear.
No one likes to fail, no one likes to make a mistake, no one likes to not know something. However, I think that those of us that decide to pursue our love of medicine may have amplified fears of the above mentioned. I know I’m not the only one whose recently expressed thoughts of self-doubt, not only in my class but I’m sure in the other schools as well. Right now a decent amount of c/o 2022 students may be falling down the same rabbit hole I am. Some of us may be expecting horrendous failure when we get into school, while others may feel as if their acceptance was a mistake; like on orientation day faculty will be waiting in the wings to swoop and inform us of the unfortunate circumstances.
I’m a solid two weeks away from orientation and starting my first quarter. Nerves and excitement are building and set to explode within the next week or so, I can only be grateful for my support system dealing with my chaotic mood swings; my vet school nesting. Every time I’m out and about, I can’t help but gravitate towards planners, school materials, notebooks, etc. wanting to make sure I’m the utmost prepared for vet school. Even though I know nothing can prepare me for what I’m about to face, I can try. In a sense, I feel trying also helps the imposter syndrome nerves; of course my SO is keeping those anxious feelings in check.
Just remember, we are all here for a reason, the committee saw something in all of us that said we’d not only be successful in vet school, but we will make great veterinarians! Don’t let the little voice in your head steer you wrong, the committee is experienced and has an eye for admirable qualities. Those qualities may be harder to see in yourself; you may find yourself thinking: “I’m so plain, nothing but white rice,” even though it isn’t true because, turn around and, sure enough, there it is. There’s the plum. So if you find yourself doubting, or even comparing yourself to your classmates . . . well, then, it’s probably because it’s easier to see the plum on someone else’s back than it is on your own.
Until Next Time,